18 Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship


Every divorced client I have sat down with has said the same exact thing: “I saw the red flags and ignored them. If I could go back, I would.”

Warning signs are something to pay attention to, even if it means postponing your wedding. If you're seeing some of the following warning signs in your relationship, get help with a counselor right away or talk it out with your fiancé(e) before your wedding. 


  •  You find yourselves having the same arguments over the same things over and over again.

  •  You have nothing nice to say to one another. (Lots of name calling and negativity)

  •  One or both of you plays the victim during arguments. (No one takes responsibility)

  •  You can't agree on goals and values in your relationship.

  • You don't respect one another when communicating.

  • You feel suspicious often. (Checking phones and emails daily, lots of anxiety and trust issues)

  • You no longer have fun together. (No date nights)

  • No one apologizes for things. (You just keep blaming each other.)

  • One or both of you put your work first on a regular basis.

  • One or both of you are unwilling to seek help. (This typically stems from pride or minimizing that there is an issue.)

  • You don't resolve fights. (There is a lot of rupture, but no repair.)

  • You discover your partner is lying about their money. (Debt, fraud, gambling)

  • Your fiancé(e) tries to isolate you from your family and friends.

  • One or both of you have considered being unfaithful or have been unfaithful - in person or online.

  • You don't talk with one another about your problems.

  • You are happier when your fiancé(e) is away from home.

  • You feel criticized and put down by your partner frequently and this leaves you feeling less than “good enough.” (Conflict has turned to combat and it's turned personal.)

  • You turn to porn or other means or substances to numb the pain from your relationship.

  • You are lonely even when your partner is in the same room. (You are living more like roommates.)

Even if only a few of these really stuck out to you, it's time to address them… like, now! Not in a few weeks, NOW.